Complicated?

Yes, that is what Facebook says.

Relationship Status: Complicated.

I guess with me, things are always going to be complicated. I'm a headcase. I'm totally nuts. The last year and a half did not help. The last two weeks did not help. I say I want someone nice, someone normal. I might find it and things are not simple, they are complicated.

Then look at the one who shall remain nameless. Look at Adam. And Drake. And Evan. Not necessarily 'nice' guys. All have redeeming qualities that made them worth my time. All could be total assholes. Yet things were very, very simple in those cases, there was nothing complicated about any of those four specific relationships. I dated Adam for a long time on and off. I dated Drake for a year. Very simple relationships. Not that #1 or #4 were technically, textbook 'relationships' but as Evan once said, "Everything is some kind of relationship, including this" (meaning us) so, whatevs. We'll use it here too.

A few weekends ago, the weekend of the Michigan/OSU game to be exact, Brett said to me he didn't necessarily think form his point of view I was ready for a new relationship yet, and as long as I "had" Evan, I wouldn't bother looking for or wanting anything else anyway. True. Things with Evan were comfy, it were very easy and simple. I was happy with the way things were, it was my kind of 'normal' I guess, not the 'normal' according to everyone else. I think everyone else would agree by regular people standards it wasn't normal. But now when things are completely different, I still don't want a relationship that is...normal.

Damn those nice, normal, boring, guys.

Yep I did it, I pulled out the B word.

All four of the above mentioned had very distinct personality traits in common, and I dug them, for sure. I don't know why. Maybe I am just a typical crazy 23 year old woman. Maybe I am the one who is fucked up, I don't know. But when things have the potential to be nice and normal, it's complicated. When things are not nice and normal, I love (almost) every moment.

I am definitely a headcase.

And you know, nice guys really do finish last, because it's the assholes who see to it that they do. What jerks. I love it.

Peace out, bitches, I'm done rambling for the night.